With Halloween right around the corner, what better way to celebrate than with a trip to one of our favourite houses of horror?
So be sure to pack your crucifixes and holy water for your trip, and have your local exorcist on speed dial, as Horror Geek Life embarks upon a road trip to discover 10 House of Horror you need to visit this Halloween season.
Honorable mentions to: House on Haunted Hill (1959), The Changeling (1980), The Amityville Horror (1979), House (1985), The House That Dripped Blood (1971), Beetlejuice (1988), The Uninvited (1944), The Innkeepers (2011), Mother (2017).
10. Ghostwatch (1992)
Horror fans who didn’t grow up in nineties England might not be familiar with this pseudo haunted house investigation, that appeared on the reputable BBC network back in 1992. Presented by Michael Parkinson and Sarah Greene, with Craig Charles (Red Dwarf) on board to help appeal to the “yoof” of the day, the mockumentary purported to be a genuine broadcast from an actual haunted house, complete with scenes of kids being targeted by ‘Pipes’ the resident ghost.
25 years later, Ghostwatch looks pretty hokey, but is still far more convincing than a lot of the so-called real haunted location shows we get on TV these days. Yes, the show was completely faked, but imagine if it hadn’t been? Real or not, Pipes was a nasty little entity that had a nice little fetish for demonic possession – so we can’t imagine the kids friends were queuing up for sleepovers after the show aired.
9. Hausu (1977)
No one does horror quite like the Japanese, and Hausu was just an early example of just how much they rocked the genre, even 40 years ago.
Demented fridges, man-eating pianos and creepy psychedelic sequences make Hausu an essential haunted house to visit every Halloween – as long as you can handle all the bonkers acid flashbacks it’s sure to bring on!
8. Burnt Offerings (1976)
If you’re in the market to buy a haunted house this season, then don’t be put off buying a large house just because you think it’ll cost too much to renovate it. You see, you might just get lucky and buy a house like this one, that sucks the very life force out of its residents to keep itself looking fresh and new. Sounds like my ex-wife.
7. The Shining (1980)
Fancy a luxurious break this Halloween? Why not visit the historic, isolated Overlook Hotel, situated in the Colorado Rockies?
Not only are the staff and other guests dead friendly, the resident caretaker is also dying to meet you.
6. Get Out (2017)
One of the biggest differences between the house in Get Out and the others in this list, is that the Armitage homestead is not some dark, dingy palace of horrors, but is instead a middle class white liberal home that is very welcoming – at least at face value.
But beyond the pleasant exterior lies a hideous, torture chamber that acts both as a scathing commentary on the so-called ‘West Wing liberal’ ignorance plaguing society, and also as a reminder that true horror exists in the most unlikely of places.
5. Evil Dead (1981)
More of a shack than an actual house, the cabin in Evil Dead probably wouldn’t be such a terrible place to visit, if it wasn’t for the hoards of the undead living in the woods outside. Oh, and the hideous hag in the fruit cellar. We can’t forget her.
4. Poltergeist (1982)
Why is the house from Tobe Hoopers iconic horror movie so terrifying? How about the child-eating tree, the man who peels his face off, the corpses in the pool, or that clown doll?
If none of this is enough to convince you of the evil contained within Poltergeist, the fact that it spawned such an awful remake should do it – oh, the horror!
3. House of 1000 Corpses (2003)
We’re not sure if it’s the pile of dead cheerleaders in the halls, the demented scientist living in the basement, or the mesmerizing ‘fish boy’ adorning the dining room wall, but there’s certainly something special about the old Firefly house.
2. The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)
As cool as the Firefly house is in Rob Zombie’s House of 1000 Corpses, it pales in comparison to the delightful turn of the century farmhouse inhabited by the beloved Hewitt family.
This Victorian structure is a literal maze of death, with terror lurking around each and every corner. Then, after a busy day spent running through the halls screaming for your life, you will be treated to a delicious supper, hand prepared by Mama from a recipe handed down from generation to generation.
1. It (2017)
Growing up, I’m sure we all hat that one house all the kids avoided. It was usually dilapidated, and hadn’t been lived in for years. Despite asking your parents for answers, they would often dismiss it as nonsense, all the while giving off the air of knowing, as if they too had felt the same way when they were kids.
Perhaps no house in the history of cinema sums up this feeling more than the so-called leper house from 2017’s It, or to give it its true name: 29 Neibolt Street. For the Losers Club though, the horrors of that house are very apparent, and with the adults of Derry completely blinkered to the horrors of Pennywise the Dancing Clown and his Neibolt playhouse, they have no choice but to enter it’s four walls again and again.