The last several years have been dominated by sequels and spin-offs to our favorite movie franchises, horror and otherwise. Since it’s inevitable that this trend will continue, we’re taking the opportunity to pitch the only horror spin-off that really matters: Vending Machine, a film set Stephen King’s Maximum Overdrive universe.
I know what you’re thinking:
“I clicked on this bullshit article for them to talk to me about a spin-off to a crappy horror film that Stephen King himself isn’t even a fan of.” My retort is that A) Maximum Overdrive rocks– and not just because of the soundtrack by AC/DC, and B) you’re already here, so you might as well see what I have to say.
So without further delay, I give you…
In this spin-off, we follow the murderous vending machine of 1986’s inanimate takeover. The film begins in the year of the original film, where viewers will be treated to a violent showcase of soda can chaos as the vending machine disposes of baseball kids and the general public until it finally runs out of artillery.
The movie then flashes forward to present day, revealing a much-needed meta turn. The vending machine is a set prop that’s being displayed in Emilio Estevez’s house. Despite everyone telling him that the machine isn’t, or has never really been, evil, Estevez knows the truth. With his stress mounting over the lack of decent roles that modern Hollywood has to offer him, Estevez decides to make his own movie- one where he can be the hero again.
The actor plans to fill the vending machine with soda cans for the first time since 1986 and film himself as he saves civilians from the murderous soda dispenser. When the machine does not, in fact, come to life, Estevez faces a dark truth about where he fits into 2018, and the conflict raging within himself leads him down a violent path. His weapon of choice?
It’s the horror spin-off you didn’t know that you needed. Your move, Hollywood.
(Satire…although, we’d love to see this happen.)
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