Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood rose from the icy depths of Crystal Lake twenty-nine years ago today to give us perhaps the greatest adversary a Voorhees has ever known, and the arguably the finest Jason in Friday the 13th history.
HGL is not populated by haters, so rather than focus on what didn’t work in Friday’s seventh chapter, we’re going to shed light on what John Carl Buechler and company did that brought devilish grins to the faces of horror fiends everywhere.
Let’s call it a hat trick of awesome.
Doctor Crews (Terry Kiser) was a mean-spirited manipulator who only sought to exploit Tina Shepard’s telekinetic capabilities for his own benefit and prosperity. A physician so awful he seemingly emerged from a deutschebag-DNA milkshake blended by Dr. Frederick Chilton and Dr. Loomis from Rob Zombie’s Halloween II. How can one possibly top a psychiatrist who makes decisions that have nothing to do with professional opinion or the well-being of his patient, but rather his own selfish ends?
Easy, you cast Bernie Lomax.
Before he donned the sunglasses and got jiggy with it, however, the monumental prick decided to use his client’s mother as a human shield. Happy ending, though, because Jason frowns upon violence against mothers, and the not-so good doctor was weed-wacked for his fuckery.
2CARRIE VS JASON
Let’s be real, no one can go toe-to-toe with the Crystal Lake marauder. Though many a final girl have put up a fight and somehow walked away, only one was truly equipped with the type of skills required to give everyone’s favorite momma’s boy a run for his money.
Enter Tina (Lar Park-Lincoln), a sweet young girl trying to come to grips with her powers and the death of her father, which she was kinda sorta responsible for. Nonetheless, thanks to Dr. Crews’ prickishness, Tina’s gift was already on high alert, so when it came time to kill or be killed, she went full-on Carrie White at the prom. Whether hurling furniture, guiding a downed power line into a puddle Jason was standing in or dropping a roof on his ass, Tina was not to be trifled with.
1HAVE YOU MET KANE?
So director Buechler put in a word to get Mr. Hodder the part of the hocked-up stalker in The New Blood, and we can never thank him enough. While it’s true that C.J. Graham was the first zombie Voorhees in Jason Lives, I think we can all agree that Kane perfected the notion over the franchise’s next four installments.
From the moment Hodder was resurrected and waded out of the water with part of his spinal cord in clear view, we knew we were in for something magnificent. The I-cannot-wait-to-tear-you-apart heavy breathing and vicious kills that followed only served to further endear Kane to Friday fans everywhere.
Of course, we’re all aware that things didn’t end the way Hodder had hoped with regard to his most famous of roles, but he’s back in Friday the 13th The Game, and for all the lives he extinguished as Jason, The New Blood provided his favorite. You all know what’s coming.
What do you love about The New Blood? Sound off in the comments section below.